Uni Life...

Hi again…

I’ve been reading blogs on and off for a long time. The thing I always find most disconcerting about them is when they stop. You’ve been reading along with someone’s life, learning about what they do and who they are, then suddenly the posts get farther and farther apart. Then they stop altogether.

You keep checking back and scrolling through the last few posts trying to figure out what might have happened. What stopped this person from wanting to share their journey with you. Of course it’s not just with you, it’s with the whole internet, but it feels like it’s just with you. As if you’ve learnt so much about their lives that you start to feel as though you’re part of it, as though they’re a friend you’re looking out for. Part of me wants to email them and ask them where they went but I realise that they don’t know me, they don’t feel like I’m their friend, I’m a stranger.

To me it always feels like something a little sinister even though I know that in reality whoever it is got busy just like I did. Their life was suddenly too much to get down on a website at the end of the day. Or maybe they ran out of inspiration and couldn’t find the words to make anything sound interesting. But I guess to the reader it just feels like a story left unfinished.

And I am living proof of that, I just got so distracted. I can’t believe it’s been six months since I last wrote anything, it does not feel like six months.

When I say wrote anything, I obviously mean wrote anything on here because I’ve actually written several essays and a twelve and a half thousand word dissertation since then. Now it’s all done and we’re in the painful process of waiting for results.

2 weeks tomorrow.

In the meantime I’m going to be turning 23 and having major freak outs about where my life is headed now that I don’t have the safety net of further education to catch me.

I have big plans for sorting my life out this summer which I’ll be sharing with you over the next few weeks. If you’re a long time reader of this blog and have managed to stick around for this 6 month dry spell then you’ll know I’m pretty much always trying to sort my life out. I guess that’s just how it goes, my life is a work in progress.

Sorry for being so quiet for so long, I’m glad to be back, it feels good to write again.

That’s all for now

x

 

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Uni Life...

My top five ways I deal with stress…

1) Cry

2) Have a lie down

3) Denial

4) Drink unholy amounts of tea

5) Complain to anyone who’ll listen

Hey friends,

Just checking in.

I’m on the home stretch with two essay which are in next week so my life has been pretty boring. I can’t get over how quickly the time has gone, how is it nearly Christmas?!

I hate that all this work has got in the way of blogging. It’s not even just that I’ve been too busy. I guess it’s mainly that after spending all my time reading and writing for uni I don’t really feel like doing more of it when I could be sleeping/watching TV etc.

The other annoying thing about having all this work to do? It makes me eat about 10 meals a day simply because that’s an excuse to have a break.

Anyways, I’m finally taking my work seriously. First year didn’t count for me so I never had to do much work. I always did fine and besides it was first year – you were supposed to be having fun. Then second year started and I was having a bit of a rough time and spent most of term time going out and drinking too much. I did the minimum amount of work necessary to get through and that was reflected in my distinctly average grades. Last year was America and once again I had not a care in the world.

And now here I am and I haven’t felt good about anything I’ve done academically in years. Not since I somehow aced my A levels, which, given the lack of anything else to back them up, I’m beginning to think might have been a fluke.

Suffice to say I’m beginning to feel the pressure, hence all the work I’ve been doing.

I just keep thinking that my excuse about not having done any work in second year is really a big lie, maybe I didn’t do very well in second year because I’m not good enough. Then I think maybe if my A levels were a fluke then I shouldn’t have even got in to a university like Nottingham in the first place. Then I think that maybe however much work I do I’m never going to do as well as I want to. Then I think that I’m going to let myself/everyone else down. Then I think I’m never going to get a good job. Then I have to have a lie down because I’m getting all freaked out.

So yeah, safe to say final year’s already driving me a little insane. Looking forward to round two when I have this PLUS a twelve thousand word dissertation to write…WAHOO!

That’s all for now

x

P.s Yeah, you know that thing I said about complaining? Well it’s the internet world’s turn to listen to my whining, I applaud you if you made it this far.

P.p.s I feel like I should mention that despite being quite stressed, I’m actually finding my essays quite interesting, maybe I’ll write about that once they’re both finished!

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Top Fives..., Uni Life...

My top five reasons you should look forward to graduating…

Hey guys!

Just a quick one today to tell you that I’ve written a top fives for the Nottingham University chapter of Her Campus all about graduating.

You can find it here so give it a read!

Proper post coming in a few days…

That’s all for now

x

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Uni Life...

My top five things about going back to university…

Oh the way I clap my hands together with glee when a Daily Prompt lends itself to me hauling something out of my drafts where it has been sitting waiting for the perfect moment to shine…or just get published, can’t guarantee the shining. After yesterday’s thoughts on giving up, I’m back to a good old top five, I can practically hear you all cheering! Number 5 has been waiting in my drafts as a kind of independent thought missing a top fives to fit into.

So lovely people, today it is my (and WordPress Daily Post‘s) desire that I write about going back to ‘school’, which is what these crazy Americans still call it even when you’re clearly years past school and are actually at UNIVERSITY.

1) I get to live all by myself again

Well by myself with three other people. What I really mean is I get to live with the absence of any of those pesky grown-ups. Don’t get me wrong, I actually quite enjoy living with my parents in a lot of ways. I get cooked for, I get my laundry done, I get to watch endless episodes of House with them…it’s a pretty sweet deal. Still though, there’s a weird, prematurely old, part of me that kind of likes doing all that stuff for myself just a little bit. I love cooking and I find tidying oddly satisfying. Point this out to me in a few months time when I’m eyeballs deep in coursework and haven’t eaten anything but chocolate in a week or am on my last pair of clean underwear and I may punch you in the face for reminding me of my naivety, but for now I’m kind of excited.

2) I’m going back to Nottingham

Nottingham is one of my favourite places in the world. To the outsider it may seem like nothing special, just a regular city you might say, but being at university there has been a great experience. I’ve had two of the best years of my life in Nottingham and I have every faith that next year will be just as good.

University of Nottingham campus

3) I get to see my old friends

Many of the people who I was closest to in my first two years at Nottingham graduated this year and I know that being there without them will be hard. They are the reason those first two years were so special and living it without them seems almost wrong to me. On the other hand, there was a good sized handful of people who went on a year abroad and will be back this September. I can’t wait to see them. Being back in Nottingham is going to be different and maybe a bit scary at first, but it’s also going to be fun. There’s no denying that a year abroad is a life changing experience and I’m eager to see how the year has changed the people that are left.

4) I’m graduating

Except apparently it’s against health and safety to throw your hat…i’m definitely doing it anyway

It’s weird and exciting and oh so very, very, very scary to think of myself as being a graduate. I’ve seen how hard it’s been for some of my friends to find graduate jobs and that’s freaked me but it’s also inspired me to try and get my shit together this year so that there’s at least a chance I can get a job at the end of it. And regardless of all that I’m excited to wear a gown and a cool hat and officially have a degree if nothing else!

5) I get to be a student for one more year

So before all that graduating nonsense I get one more year of being irresponsible and having fun (not to say you can’t have fun when you’re a graduate…I’m fairly sure adults still have fun despite what they try and tell you). Being a student is a weird time, you’re kind of stuck in this in between stage where you’re officially an adult and can do all the things you spent your teenage years wishing you were old enough to do and yet no one really expects you to behave like a proper adult yet. A lot of us are still heavily supported by our parents, there’s very little judgement over getting horribly drunk and embarrassing ourselves and although there is much talk of our futures they still very much seem (for me anyway) like an abstract idea which we’ll deal with at a later date. For me at least, being a student feels like an extra stage of life which should be added on between teenagehood and adulthood, where you’re just not quite a real grown up person yet. And I get that for another year. Yay for that.

That’s all for now

x

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Family & Home..., My Fresh Start...

My top five things about right now…

I’m writing this in response to the Daily Prompt: State of your year.

I started following The Daily Post to try and make sure I kept writing even when the ideas weren’t flowing. Well, I still have ideas but I’ve been toying with the idea of writing about how things are going in general and this seemed like a good opportunity.

So, where is my life at right now? I’ve been back from the States for about 6 weeks and all the fun stuff I had planned for my return is just about over and done with. This weekend I felt the full force of being back, the prospect of working full time looming alarmingly close and returning to a long distance (admittedly much shorter distance but still) relationship. After moping for the weekend I’ve decided that’s enough of that and I’m going to look on the bright side, after all, this is my fresh start…

1) I’m blogging properly

As I’ve talked about before, I started this blog to talk about my year abroad. Unfortunately, that didn’t quite pan out how I’d planned and I let life get in the way. Since coming back I’ve started writing again and suddenly I’m obsessed. I think about blog ideas all the time; when I’m having conversations with people I’m thinking about how I could create a top 5 based around what we’re talking about, when I go anywhere I’m considering its five high points, even reading books and watching films and TV programmes is all about what could go into a blog later that day. I’m sure any long time bloggers will know what I’m talking about, it’s an addiction and I’m excited that it’s finally happened to me, I just hope I can stick to it when my life gets a little busier!

2) I’m home

One of the main things I learnt while I was living in America is how much being away makes you appreciate home. I’m not saying that if I didn’t have the opportunity to travel right now I wouldn’t take it, but I’m still in the stage where I can appreciate the little things about being at home. Being cooked for and feeling completely relaxed, which I never really do when I’m travelling and fully in charge of myself. It’s nice to have that comfort you know? In a few weeks I’ll probably be sick of it, but for now I’m comfortable and happy here.

3) 2013 is turning out pretty great

The first half of this year has been scary, exciting and life changing. I spent the first 6 months of it living in a different country, I travelled and saw things I never imagined I’d get to see and got to do it with some wonderful people who made it all the better. Then I had the joy of coming home and the reunions which I’d waited so long for, and they didn’t disappoint. In a few months I’m going back to Nottingham for my fourth year and I can’t imagine being more ready to tackle the prospect of a dissertation and some really hard work, let’s hope that actually turns out how I’m planning!

4) Obama’s still in power, my mug collection is expanding nicely and I have a great boyfriend

The world is just as it should be in the most important of aspects. My love, Obama, who I’ve expressed my approval for in previous blogs is still doing his thing and making the world a little cooler. This year has seen my mug collection expand at an unexpected but delightful rate with the addition of at least 6 since the new year. On top of all that, I’m in a real, proper relationship for the first time and, not to go on too much and embarrass myself, it’s pretty great.

5) What comes next?

I decided what I was studying at university when I was 17 years old; 5 years ago. From that age I knew I was going to spend a year living in America and, in part, my life up until last August was me waiting for the moment I took off and went to have this adventure. And now I’m back. I’ve tried to work out how I feel about this and I’m still not really sure. The adjustment to going back to being without this huge experience on the horizon is pretty disconcerting. The ways I’ve found to cope with it at the moment? Forget about what’s going to happen in a few years time, it’s not always good to live your life like I was before; waiting for something. I’m focusing on what I want out of my life now that I only have a year standing in between me and being a ‘real person’. Now I’m thinking of the rest of my life as the next adventure.

That’s all for now

x

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