My Future...

A manifesto for life…

As I stand here, on the brink of my ‘adult life’,  it comes to mind that I should make some kind of promises…pledge to be a good kind of person, the kind you’d want to know.

I’ll start with the big stuff…

I promise to try and be the kind of person who can let go of the past. I tend to hang on to grudges and regrets and disappointments. But I’ll try and stop because I want a mind that’s open to new opportunities, not preoccupied by the past.

I promise to be kinder to myself, physically and emotionally. To eat healthily(ish) and make time to move a bit more, make some good habits. And to stop beating myself up. To try and ‘learn to love myself’ like everyone’s always saying you should do.

I promise to be kind to you. Whoever you are. If you’re just stopping by I hope that you get some good vibes and if you know me then please expect it from me and call me out if it doesn’t happen.

I promise not to give up. Whatever challenges I’ll have to face, whether or not I feel strong enough to persevere, I’ll try to do it anyway. The seemingly simplest of things, getting a job, is already proving a challenge and the rejections are really no fun but I’ll keep trying.

I promise to be excited about the future more than I’m scared of it. To always try and find things to look forward to and embrace the unknown. And not to feel too sad about getting older.

I promise to go back to my natural hair colour at least once in my life.

I promise to always use my right to vote and make the effort to make an informed decision.

I promise to save money sensibly most of the time and spend recklessly a little bit of the time.

I promise to always remember how gross smoking is and to never start.

I promise to get everyone dancing to Take That at my wedding.

I promise not to take people for granted. To always be polite and to make people feel valued.

I promise to limit the amount of days I spend in pyjamas doing nothing productive. But I promise I’ll do it occasionally.

I promise that I will never, ever send anyone invites to any Facebook game…ever.

I promise to try and have as much fun as possible even when I’m doing things that don’t immediately scream ‘fun’ at you.

I promise to name my future cats after Jim and Pam from The Office.

I promise to stop being so addicted to Facebook and to stop using it to compare my life to other people’s. And to never be someone who cares so much about it that I feel the need to complain when the layout changes.

I promise to take more photos so I don’t forget anything.

I promise to never care even a little bit about what the Kardashians or anyone from TOWIE/MIC are up to.

I promise to travel.

I promise to back up my computer regularly.

I promise to become a grandmother with stories worth telling.

I promise to always bring cake.

That’s all for now

x

Written for the Daily Post Weekly Writing Challenge.

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Top Fives..., Uni Life...

A few thoughts on graduating…

I graduated last week. It was a great day shared with great people and most significantly I didn’t fall over when I walked across the stage. I cannot tell you how many times I had nightmares about falling in front of hundreds of people, I need to get a grip!

Anyways, I’m taking to my blog today to help me process some of the thoughts I’ve had about this whole graduating thing. For the sake of tradition I’ll put them in a nice numbered list although there may or may not be five, we’ll have to wait and see.

1) First off it seems appropriate to say how astoundingly grateful I am to the people who helped me get through four years at university. The Vice-Chancellor of my university asked us, the graduates, all to stand up and applaud our friends and families before we left the ceremony last week and this couldn’t have been more of an appropriate way to end my university career. Particularly in my final year my parents and boyfriend read every single piece of work I handed in. They corrected it, gave advice and generally made me feel like I had a shot at doing ok…which I needed….a lot.

And even if they hadn’t done all that, my parents made it financially possible for me to go and live in America for a year, something I’d been dreaming of for as long as I can remember, and my boyfriend put up with a long distance relationship so that I could go and live that dream. So to them and everyone else who helped out and gave support, thanks guys-you’re the best.

2) My second observation about being a graduate…it’s not actually as scary as I thought. In fact, maybe it’s even a teeny tiny bit exciting. I thought I was the kind of person that needed to know exactly what my next step was because I guess that’s all any of us have ever known until we leave full-time education, but it turns out that I’m kind of ok with not being certain.

3) So here’s something of note. I assume it’s down to the fact that you automatically become a proper adult when you put that gown on and manage not to fall over while crossing a stage wearing heels but I actually do seem to be sorting my life out.

Since leaving Nottingham I’ve applied for several jobs doing really cool things that I actually really want to do. I’ve started selling all my worldly possessions on Amazon (this is a big deal for me, I normally vehemently resist getting rid of anything). I’m reading more and trying to use what limited spare time I do have now that I’m working full-time to do useful, grown up  things like read the news and make my CV look cool. I guess I got used to having a clearly defined goal last year…get that 2.1. Now that I’ve left I need loads of little goals, sitting around watching TV all evening just doesn’t cut it.

4) That kind of brings me onto this blog. I’ve been writing about it in my CV and covering letter but I sometimes imagine potential employers reading it and I wonder what they’d make of it. I guess it’s kind of lost its direction. I’m torn over how I should continue with it but I know that I don’t want to give up on it. My final year at uni confirmed how much I like writing and now that I don’t have essays to write I know that I’ll be craving an outlet every now and then.

I guess the thing I’m unsure about is what I’m trying to make of myself through this blog. On my CV I describe it as a place where I talk about my experiences on my year abroad and what it was like coming back to the UK. Well that just isn’t really the case any more is it? Do I need a clear thesis? Does the top fives thing confuse things? Does it need to be a blog about something other than my life? I’m not sure so I guess the next few months will involve me trying to work out the answers to those questions.

5) Wahoo I made it to number 5. My final thought on my experience since leaving uni is that the pain has most definitely been eased by the discovery that I’m going to be an aunt next January. I suppose if you don’t know me you won’t realise how much of a big deal that is for me. But trust me, I’ve been waiting for this a long time and I couldn’t be happier. That baby is going to be loved so much and I really can’t wait to meet him/her. (I’ve had a fairly convincing dream about it being a boy so I reckon I’m having a nephew).

So there we have it. For now, from the graduate…

My family

My family

 

My American Studies Buddies

My American Studies Buddies

 

And Me!

And Me!

That’s all for now

x

 

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Uni Life...

Hi again…

I’ve been reading blogs on and off for a long time. The thing I always find most disconcerting about them is when they stop. You’ve been reading along with someone’s life, learning about what they do and who they are, then suddenly the posts get farther and farther apart. Then they stop altogether.

You keep checking back and scrolling through the last few posts trying to figure out what might have happened. What stopped this person from wanting to share their journey with you. Of course it’s not just with you, it’s with the whole internet, but it feels like it’s just with you. As if you’ve learnt so much about their lives that you start to feel as though you’re part of it, as though they’re a friend you’re looking out for. Part of me wants to email them and ask them where they went but I realise that they don’t know me, they don’t feel like I’m their friend, I’m a stranger.

To me it always feels like something a little sinister even though I know that in reality whoever it is got busy just like I did. Their life was suddenly too much to get down on a website at the end of the day. Or maybe they ran out of inspiration and couldn’t find the words to make anything sound interesting. But I guess to the reader it just feels like a story left unfinished.

And I am living proof of that, I just got so distracted. I can’t believe it’s been six months since I last wrote anything, it does not feel like six months.

When I say wrote anything, I obviously mean wrote anything on here because I’ve actually written several essays and a twelve and a half thousand word dissertation since then. Now it’s all done and we’re in the painful process of waiting for results.

2 weeks tomorrow.

In the meantime I’m going to be turning 23 and having major freak outs about where my life is headed now that I don’t have the safety net of further education to catch me.

I have big plans for sorting my life out this summer which I’ll be sharing with you over the next few weeks. If you’re a long time reader of this blog and have managed to stick around for this 6 month dry spell then you’ll know I’m pretty much always trying to sort my life out. I guess that’s just how it goes, my life is a work in progress.

Sorry for being so quiet for so long, I’m glad to be back, it feels good to write again.

That’s all for now

x

 

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My Favourite Things..., My Fresh Start...

My top five things my blog can tell you about me…

This is my 19th post on this blog. I feel like a reflective post should be on a nice even number; here’s a fact about me for free…I hate odd numbers, don’t know what it is about them they just don’t look good to me. My lucky number is 8, in case you’re interested.

Anyways, this Daily Prompt fell on the day of my 19th post so who am I to argue? I shall persevere through my hatred of odd numbers and present you with a nice reflective 19th post.

1) I’m not too good at sticking things out

At least the old me wasn’t. I started this blog last September and my final post while I was in Albany was in December. If you were basing a judgement on that track record you could definitely argue that the meagre effort I put in last year was a reflection of a person who struggles with seeing things through. But like I said, that was the old me, you can read all about the new me here. So maybe the first thing you can really learn about me is that I’m trying to improve myself.

2) I like positivity

The prompt suggested considering your blog title. I guess in my mind this blog could have been called ‘Five things about’ or ‘Five reasons why’ or something like that (ok those names kind of suck but you get the picture). The reason it’s called ‘My top fives’ is because, on the whole, I tend to prefer thinking about five reasons I like something rather than five reasons why I don’t like something. Negativity kind of bores me a lot of the time; it’s not so much that it upsets me but that being around people who are perpetually negative kind of gets a bit old after a while, what’s the point in assuming the worst?

3) I LIKE YELLOW

Well just in case you thought my choice of background was arbitrary, it’s not. Yellow is my favourite colour and it used to be somewhat of an obsession of mine. My family used to buy me everything yellow up until a few years ago, maybe I’m growing up now that I’m open to other colour choices, I don’t know. Anyways, yellow things make me smile.

4) I spend a lot of time contemplating both the past and the future

I guess this is just a human trait really. If I’m not missing the good old days and writing lame posts about childhood bands, I’m thinking about the things I’ll be able to buy with the money I assume I’m going to make one day and writing posts about what I’m going to be when I finally grow up.

5) I love a good ellipsis…

Take a brief stroll through my blog and you’ll find an excessive amount of full stops scattered all over the place. I don’t know why I do this but it’s something people often comment on. I do it on facebook, twitter and now on here too. Wikipedia tells me that an ellipsis can be used to indicate an unfinished thought or a trailing off into silence. I feel like that’s pretty accurate, most of the time I stop talking it’s because I’ve been distracted by something else or realised I’m sounding like a bit of an idiot so should probably trail off quietly!

That’s all for now

x

P.s Oh and here’s some more fun daily prompt posts for ya

  1. Reflections | The Magic Black Book
  2. A Seperate Side | Godrick Gnomish
  3. My Blog About | The Lurker’s List
  4. Daily Prompt: Reflections | Books, Music, Photography & Movies : my best friends
  5. Reflections | thoughtsofrkh
  6. Daily Prompt: Mirror, Mirror, On the Wall | littlegirlstory
  7. that’s me in the spotlight | bodhisattvaintraining
  8. Mirror Mirror On The Wall | suzie81’s Blog
  9. Pride | cellarfloor
  10. Crystal World | Foto Challenge
  11. The Sights You Will See | Good2begone
  12. Right Back Atcha | JuSt ViSiTiNG THiS PLaNeT…
  13. Daily Prompt: Mirror, Mirror, On The Wall | Life & Times
  14. Reflections: Ali in Bloggerland! | alienorajt
  15. Mirror? | Hope* the happy hugger
  16. Daily Prompt: Mirror, Mirror, On the Wall | MyBlog – solaner
  17. Daily Prompt: Mirror, Mirror, On the Wall « Mama Bear Musings
  18. Reflections | The Ambitious Drifter
  19. Blogging Is Sharing Flowers | The Jittery Goat
  20. Mirror, Mirror | ciara the unicorn
  21. I DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU HEARD ABOUT ME…. | Phoenix Flights
  22. Shadows of the world | notsinglebutnothappy
  23. Daily Prompt: Mirror, Mirror, On the Wall | Fasting, Food and other musings by determined34
  24. Daily Prompt: Mirror, Mirror, On the Wall | Under the Monkey Tree
  25. Daily Prompt: Reflections… | The Amateur Camera
  26. Reflections | Andante Cantabile
  27. Daily Prompt : Mirror, Mirror on the wall | Valley Girl Gone Country
  28. Daily Prompt: Mirror,Mirror, On the wall | Motherhood and Beyond
  29. Daily Prompt: Mirror, Mirror, On the Wall | life n me!
  30. Stop staring at me | Mind of a Mouse
  31. Mirror, mirror | Sue’s Trifles
  32. Tuesday and Morning, what do you see in the Mirror? (me?) | tuesday and morning
  33. Daily Prompt: Reflections | Postcards from
  34. How do we see ourselves? | New Visions
  35. Daily Prompt: Mirror, Mirror ~ This Snow White is black, white and wants to be read all over | theempathyqueen
  36. What if I could be myself? | Okay, what if ?
  37. Creative Cauldron | Blue Loft
  38. Reflections Eternal: Mirror, Mirror, On the Wall | Eyes Closed, Mind Open.
  39. “Mirror, Mirror, On the Wall” | Relax
  40. Daily Prompt: Mirror, Mirror, On the Wall | The Story of a Guy
  41. Photoblog for a writer | Life is great
  42. Daily Prompt: Reflections of Me & the City | Far from Done
  43. Mirror Mirror On The Wall . . . | Spirit Lights The Way
  44. Reflections… | The Rider
  45. Daily Prompt: Mirror, Mirror on the Wall | Chronicles of an Anglo Swiss
  46. I saw a human-cat. | Nekoruchii: Life of a Commoner
  47. Twin Reflections | Travel with Intent
  48. Mirror, Mirror, On the Wall | Along Life’s Road
  49. duck (Reflections) | photo potpourri
  50. Daily Prompt: Mirror, Mirror, On the Wall | LADYBOY PROMPT
  51. Sex, Lies and Vampire Parenting Blogging | Vampire Maman
  52. DP ~ Reflections in a Blog | Saving Daddy’s Soulmate
  53. TAGS ARE THE MIRROR OF THE SOUL, AND A CAR MADE OF FUR | Standing Ovation, Seated
  54. Dry Tortugas | The Life NomadikThe Life Nomadik
  55. Molly Greye’s Blog Rap Poetry | Molly Greye
  56. Cant « froodian pseudoanalysis
  57. Daily Prompt: Mirror, Mirror On The Wall | Simply Julie!
  58. Daily Prompt: Mirror, Mirror – Who Am I? | Randomness Expressed
  59. Mirror, Mirror, On the Wall -Reflections | Cosmos Wonderland
  60. My Blog and Me..what do I see? | Daily Observations
  61. Habit of burden | shame
  62. Mirror, Mirror, On the Wall: Reflections | Khana’s Web
  63. Daily Prompt: Mirror, Mirror, On The Wall | From Slacker To Scribe
  64. Reflections | The Nameless One
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Films I've Seen..., My Future...

My top five ways I’ll know I’ve ‘made it’…

I have a habit of setting unrealistic goals for myself. As a result of being a fairly optimistic person I genuinely believe that at some point in my life I am going to be really rich and have the job of my dreams and live in a big house with loads of antiques and throw dinner parties every weekend. It’s not that I can’t imagine the prospect of everything going wrong and ending up poor and unhappy but even then I’ll probably assume it’s only temporary.

I’ve long entertained these ideas of what my life will be like when I’ve ‘made it’ in the real world and become a proper grown up and there’s certain things I must own or be before I can declare myself satisfied.

I must have one of these

1) I must have ‘One of those cool old phones like off of Three Men and  a Baby’

If you’ve never seen Three Men and a Baby I must first ask what on earth you’re doing with your life and demand that you find some way of watching it immediately…it has Tom Selleck, Ted Danson and some other guy taking care of a baby, that’s all you need to know (and I’m talking Tom Selleck and Ted Danson before they both got old and fat, don’t google what they look like now because it’ll just depress you).

Anyway, in said film they are not only taking care of a baby, they are also living together in an amazing penthouse apartment which Tom Selleck’s character designed because he plays an architect. They have lots of cool stuff and the coolest of all this stuff is one of those old fashioned wall phones where you hold one thing to your ear and speak into the thing on the wall, totally impractical in today’s world of mobile devices. Anyway, I’ve kind of lost  where I was going with this because, in case you haven’t noticed, I really like talking about Three Men and a Baby…oh yes so this phone, this is what I’m going to own and that is the first thing I’m going to buy when I have extra money and a nice house.

Because this film was made in the 80s there is a severe lack of screen shots from it online so I couldn’t find one of them actually using the phone, instead you can just look at Tom Selleck et al with a small baby

2) I’ll shop only at Waitrose and buy all organic food

Pretty self explanatory really. I’ll have a kitchen with an island and lots of extremely expensive brightly coloured kitchenware and make nutritious and organic meals for my children and husband after a nice country walk…or something like that. As long as I have a kitchen with an island and the brightly coloured kitchenware it’s cool.

3) Own a grand piano

I cannot play the piano. Nor do I currently have any space whatsoever to put one. But that is not the point. One day when I’ve earnt so much money that I don’t even need to work anymore, and I spend most of my time doing volunteer work, I’ll host lavish dinner parties and play the grand piano (obviously I will have learnt by then) as the guests enter through my marble foyer.

4) Go on a game show because ‘I fancy a challenge’

You know those people who go on game shows just because they’re retired and have nothing better to do? Like when old rich people go on Come Dine With Me and host the dinner party in their mansions and make a point of saying that they ‘couldn’t care less about the money’, they just want to see if they could do it.

This actually seems kind of mean considering that, by this stage in life, that grand you might win from going on Come Dine With Me could actually CHANGE SOMEONES LIFE and yet you’re just going on there to keep yourself entertained. And when you do win, which you inevitably will since you can afford to spend hundreds on getting your guests excessively drunk on champagne so that they assume they must have had a good time even though they can barely remember it, you can just take that grand and add it to one of your many piles of money.

You know what, I’m not so sure about this…ok, I’ll go on a game show for the challenge but then give all my winnings to charity, much better.

5) Go on a spur of the moment holiday

When we were discussing this idea of having ‘made it’ at some point, one of my friends said that going on a spur of the moment holiday was the way she would know that she had made it in life. So now I’m stealing the idea for my blog because I’ve decided I want to do this one day too! So you’ll wake up on, say, a Tuesday morning and you’re feeling a little overworked, you turn to your boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife and say ‘I could really do with a holiday’ and they grab a laptop and book a minibreak to Italy for that weekend, all before you’ve even got up for work. I hope my boyfriend is reading this and taking note.

I’ll be there by Friday night…

That’s all for now

x

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