I’ve been in a long distance relationship for nearly a year now (although we weren’t technically, and by this I mean Facebook, official until December). So maybe I’m not quite an expert in the field yet but I feel like I’ve learned a few things.
1) The absence of the label means nothing
So we started off as ‘seeing how it goes’ and ‘we’ll wait ’til I get back’. Realistically, if you’re going to talk everyday, not see other people and make plans for the future then you may as well admit that you are a couple despite the distance.
All not having the official title does is make for awkward conversations where you don’t really know what to refer to each other as and neither of you really know where you stand. If you want to be together, just do it, you can figure out the rest later.
2) Try not to go completely insane
This is a tricky one.
By the time I’d spent a few months living 3000 miles away from my boyfriend I was definitely beginning to question my sanity. Apart from missing him a lot I also found myself just getting pretty pissed off with him somewhat irrationally.
I’ve subsequently found out from talking with other people that this is pretty normal, still, try and avoid it if you can. Remember that it’s hard for them too and just take a few deep breaths or something…I don’t know, I pretty much did go insane last year so I’m not sure I’m qualified to help with this one.
3) Plan the time of distance when one of you isn’t going to be going through a particularly stressful period
I moved away when my boyfriend went into his final year at uni. This meant a lot of pressure, regular deadlines and a 10,000 word dissertation to write. I like to think I was as supportive as possible but it’s a lot harder to do that from 3000 miles away than from the same city, or at least the same country when you can actually pick up the phone and call each other.
I think that we’re a bit more prepared for it this year, now that it’s me dealing with all that pressure, but in an ideal situation we’d be able to see each other more often than a weekend here and there! Obviously a long distance couple may not have much control over when the distance is taking place so when dealing with added pressures refer back to tip #2.
4) TRUST EACHOTHER
If you don’t trust the other person and you’re living far away from each other then you will drive yourself insane. Either sort yourself out and work out why you don’t trust them or break up, it’s never going to work and it’ll be torture. Actually that’s kind of true of all relationships.
5) Try and look at the positives
All that missing each other means that when you do finally see them it’s super great and way more exciting than if you just saw them everyday. Despite being together for nearly a year I don’t feel like we’ve really left the really embarrassing sappy stage of the relationship…which I suppose is a little unfortunate for those around us. Not only that but, as cheesy as it sounds, if you can get through this, you can get through anything.
Urgh I’m cringing so hard at myself right now but this is what love does to you…apparently.
That’s all for now