Today’s Daily Prompt asks about being scared, about how it feels and whether you like it or not.
I HATE being scared. The feeling of being full of adrenalin, of panicking, it’s one that I can’t stand. I also have a pretty low tolerance for things that I deem ‘scary’ so I easily get worked up. Fortunately, the things which actually do scare me are fairly easy to avoid, I don’t have any actual phobias these are just things which get my heart pumping.
Pretty much all rides scare me. I was the one that was still going on the little kids rides at theme parks when all my friends were going on roller coasters. Now that I’m 22 and that option is pretty much closed off to me I just don’t go to theme parks, ever. Unfortunately for me, my boyfriend absolutely adores theme parks, we often talk about me going with him but I know that I can’t do it.
The first time I remember going on a ‘scary ride’ I was about 10 and my sister (who was in her mid-twenties) took my to the fair that’s held every year on recreation grounds near our house. We were there with a load of her friends and, despite my pleading not to, she made me go on a ride with her. The ride was a typical fairground one with lots of flashing lights and high speed spinning. I remember the ride vividly, I remember not wanting to make a fuss and trying to pretend I was enjoying it and I remember my sister screaming and laughing while I just clung on and tried not to panic. When we talk about it now she says when I got off she’d never seen me look so pale. I think that was the first and possibly last time I ever went on a scary ride.
A few years later I was at a theme park with my best friend and her family. I got all the way to the front of the queue of the biggest ride there, determined to face my fear, but then the panic set in and I knew there was no way I was getting on that ride. I ran out of the queue and waited with her mum and sister while her and her dad went on.
2) Televised murder/death/detective things
Obviously real murder and death also scare me but if I manage to avoid watching TV shows about them I can kind of pretend that they don’t exist. Yet again, unfortunately for me, my mum loves detective shows. Often I’ll walk into the living room to be confronted with the gory sight of a dead body or someone being murdered. Even if it’s just for a second I won’t be able to get the thought of it out of my head for a good while after I’ve run back out the room. I know that it’s not real of course but I don’t like to be reminded that it could be real. That it could happen to me or someone I know.
I rarely, if ever, came into contact with violence when I was growing up. I didn’t really watch films and TV shows that were too old for me, there were no video games that normalised violence to me. I just didn’t ever see it. So now when I come into contact with any violence on TV, film or in real life I find it extremely difficult to see. It’s not just that it disturbs me or upsets me, it actually does scare me. I get the same feeling as I do when I’m thinking about going on a ride.
4) Being alone
This is probably the most irrational of fears. The thing that I have nightmares about sometimes. And I don’t mean being alone in a room or a house, I mean ‘there’s been an apocalypse and I’m the last person in the world’ alone. I used to worry about this much more when I was younger…I have no idea why. I think I accidentally watched a TV show about a zombie apocalypse once.
Still, when I was a child I was scared of lots of bizarre stuff as I’m sure most are. I don’t know where I got these ideas from but it would be things like I couldn’t sleep with my wrists exposed in case someone came in and tried to slit them or with my mouth open because someone might come and put poison in it so that when I woke up and swallowed I’d die. I used to creep downstairs after I’d been put to bed to check if I could hear my parents talking in the living room in case a murderer had come in and shot them. There’s probably some strange psychological explanation for all these neurotic behaviours but fortunately I just grew up and stopped freaking out so much!
5) Looking like an idiot
Probably the fear which I come into contact with the most is looking like an idiot in front of people. I guess no one enjoys looking stupid but I’m just convinced that I always will.
What scares you? Do you remember any strange fears you had when you were a child?
That’s all for now